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Dating
at Work. The Dangers of Office Romance
by Jim Owen |
Memo to all co-workers who decide to
begin a workplace romance: Pursue at your own risk.
Inter-office love affairs are no small matter. With more women in the workforce than ever,
the opportunities for romance are blossoming. Indeed, if studies are to be believed,
co-workers are pairing off in quickly growing numbers.
For many people dating a co-worker is a safe and attractive alternative to pursuing
romance in the riskier venues, such as bars, parties or health clubs.
"I got to know my fiancé pretty well before we even started dating," says a
Washington lawyer. "That was important to me, and everything's working out
fine."
But the dangers of dating on the job are well-chronicled. If the romance sours, the
fallout can range from icy stares to thwarted careers and even firings, particularly if
the relationship is high-profile and involves a subordinate and a boss.
Accusations of favoritism are common in such cases, and office morale can suffer as a
result. What's more, friends of the romantic pair may end up isolating one of the
partners, usually the subordinate.
Yet surprisingly, few companies have clear-cut policies on the subject. According to a
1994 survey of nearly 500 companies by the American Management Association, just six percent had a written policy on
employee dating, and only two companies barred the practice. Wal-Mart, for example, allows
dating, but not between bosses and subordinates.
More typical are companies that simply discourage workplace romance, says Ethan Winner, a Walnut Creek, Calif.-based consultant who
advises small to mid-sized firms on the topic.
"People have the idea, primarily from the media and TV shows, that it's just fine to
date your co-workers," says Winner. "But it's generally not."
When office relationships crumble--and they often do, Winner says--the results can be
ugly. He cites the case of a client whose plate glass window was shattered by a computer
monitor, heaved by an employee jilted in an office affair. Most breakups, of course, are
less dramatic but no less destructive.
"Allowing these relationships to go forward involves a tremendous risk for both the
employer and the employee," says Winner. "It's usually a no-win situation."
Still, on-the-job dating is not without its advocates. Charles A. Pierce, a
professor of industrial psychology at Montana State University argues that scientific data
show that office romances can result in more productive employees.
"In certain circumstances, office relationships can be OK," he says. "In
fact, they can be beneficial if employees channel romantic energy to work tasks. They may
bring more enthusiasm to the job."
Pierce believes that companies should avoid adopting blanket policies banning office
dating, relying instead on a case-by-case approach.
The bottom line? Be very cautious before embarking on a workplace romance, and be certain
you're aware of the potential consequences. Have an escape hatch ready in case things go
awry and always remember, your options may be few if the relationship collapses or the
boss forces you to choose between your job and your partner.
Reprinted with permission of CareerBuilder.com. CareerBuilder, Inc.
has emerged as the leading provider of E-cruiting (electronic recruiting) services with
the CareerBuilder Network, its pioneering model to provide employers with a choice of the
best career sites on the Web from a single vendor. The CareerBuilder Network is made up of
over 25 leading professional, broad appeal, diversity, and industry career centers.
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